Apple Enthusiasts: Regular consumers trapped in a time warp, imagining that a ghostly genius whispers supernatural insights into a corporation’s ear. Also known as “Apple fanboys,” they interpret every Tom Foolery as 4D chess. Since they are free from the annoying legal requirement to not blatantly lie to the public, Apple Enthusiasts produce their fan fiction with far more imagination, passion and detail than the company’s PR department. These loyal followers are stuck between the romanticized image of a plucky underdog from the 90s and the megalomania of a two trillion dollar colossus. They see Apple’s exponents as technically, ethically and intellectually superior champions fighting against the evil empires of Google, Microsoft and the EU. Apple Enthusiasts spend their days and nights zealously parroting and exaggerating corporate talking points, convinced they’re spreading supreme tech wisdom that only they fully understand. Are blissfully unaware of the irony that by supporting one of the world’s behemoths, they make themselves smaller and smaller.