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APPLE BRAIN

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Apple Intelligence: A callout when someone makes Tom Foolery look like 4D chess, like Craig Federighi when he parachuted out of a plane, parkoured through Apple Park, jumped down four meters to fix his lush hair before he sherlocked $400m of dev apps and presented entry level AI as something that requires you to buy new Apple devices, and please wait three to six months. Apple Intelligence can also mean Apple’s half-ironic Artificial Intelligence, not to be confounded with Applied Intelligence or human intelligence. Apple Intelligence is the same as AI anywhere, but with three levels of privacy, depending on how powerful the AI is (the less impressive the AI, the more privacy you get). Level 1 is AI on device, like when you spellcheck a document. Level 2 is privacy-encrypted data traveling between you and Apple’s renewable energy-driven servers. You need that to generate special stuff that needs high privacy, such as AI illustrations in a birthday card for your mother. Because you’re that guy. Level 3: is the most useful level of privacy where Apple asks you every time when you’re about to use ChatGPT whether you really, really want want to give up your privacy and tell ChatGPT about your health condition.